Thursday, November 1, 2007
I would like my review to focus mainly on the perspectives I have taken to write this paper as well as my thesis statement. Does it seem like I spent enough time working on each perspective? Which perspective would you like to hear more about or are there other perspectives that you can come up with?
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Jason, the perspectives you have taken are clear, either people support steroids or not. However, you should state these perspectives in the thesis sentence in order to clarify what the "positions" are. In addition, try to narrow down only the necessary elements of the introduction because it is much to long. i'm not suggesting that you simply delete alot of it, but reposition most of your facts and statistics and try to state the primary information needed to discuss this topic fully. other than these sugestions, it is an interesting, entertaining and well-written essay. Woohoo! only one more essay to go...
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